How can you leave me?
by Cid Dante
Summary: A sequel to 'Why is saying i love you so hard?'. Cid struggles with his fear of failure and his love for Vincent as AVALANCHE goes to fight Sephiroth. (cid/vin)
1. Default Chapter

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Hey people. This is a sequel to 'Why is saying I love you so hard?' this story is for the reviewers of it. Spoony Spoonicus, teka1313 and MidnightLoner. 

This one's for you guys!

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All eight stood at the lip of the huge daunting crater. Determination etched on all their faces.

Tonight, this one night, would decide the fate of billions. The fate of the planet rested in their hands.

The words of one of them filled their minds as hearts raced with fear, excitement and adrenaline.

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"Anyone here changed their minds?"

All answers were the same. Not one of them could back out now. Not one of them could fail or go back on their words to the they loved. The people of the planet needed them to succeed. The planet needed them to get rid of the sickness that had plagued it for over two thousand years.

Cid Highwind thought he was going to pass out from the nauseating sickness that had crept into his stomach. A cold shiver ran through his form like electric shocks. Each shiver kept getting stronger with each passing wave.

"It's time to move out people," the fearless leader spoke, he gripped the hilt of his huge sword. His eyes glowing with Mako.

"It's time to save the world," Cloud's voice hardened.

Cid made his move but found his legs didn't want to budge. The were frozen to the spot. He cast his eyes to see the other six warriors also reluctant to move from the safety of the treacherous edge. His heart thundered in his ears and his pulse raced.

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Damn…I'm gonna have a heart attack. Not exactly a heroic way to go, Cid thought.

He focused his eyes on his dark haired lover. Vincent stared intently at his feet before slowly taking his first step. He stopped and looked over to Cid.

"Cid?"

The pilot scratched the back of his head, "I'm good. I…I'm just a little nervous."

"We all are" Vincent said in his quiet way, "But we must quell our demons and face our fears."

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Demons…fears…I…, Cid sighed, _I can't. I'm to damn scared to even move._

Cid looked away from Vincent. Some small part of him took comfort knowing that his fearless lover was scared. He held out a gloved hand, wanting some comfort.

Vincent took the hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. He caught fear in the blue eyes, raw fear. It amazed and scared the hell out of him.

"I do love ya," Cid whispered, "I'd follow ya to the ends of the earth but…"

"But?" Vincent frowned. What was Cid getting at? Was he bailing out on the team? No…he would never abandon him. He loved him.

"Guys! Lets move out!" Cloud was already halfway down the slope, along with the rest of AVALANCHE.

Vincent felt Cid let go of his hand. The former Turk's eyes widened in fear. He was leaving the team, after promising he wouldn't.

Cid leaned forward and gently kissed him on the lips, tasting the fear and sweat. He knew that this time could be the last time he saw the raven haired man. His blue eyes opened slowly to see confusion in the amazing ruby eyes of his lover.

"I…I'll be waiting right here," Cid choked back the oncoming tears.

Vincent blinked and turned away from him. It was Cid's choice to stay. No one could force him to fight. It seemed when it really came down to it, the blonde didn't love him.

"Farewell Cid Highwind," the finality of the tone Vincent used was unmistakable.

The former killer for the Shin-Ra walked away and towards his fate. He felt betrayed.

He wasn't going down to save the planet…he was going down to die.

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Yeah…I know Cid's had a change of heart…but stay with me!

Chapter two up soon…


	2. 2

Chapter two! I know cid has a change of heart but don't worry!

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Cid had watched Vincent disappear hours ago into the gaping mouth of the crater. He had betrayed the team by not following. He'd betrayed the memory of the amazing young woman Aeris. 

The one that hurt the most was knowing that he had betrayed Vincent. The one guy on the team that he actually cared about more than anything on the planet. More than the useless Bronco or the Highwind. More than the rocket and more than the precious stars above him.

The wind blew around him, whipping his face and causing dust to fly into his eyes. The sky had darkened, the moon had started to show, only to be blocked out by the oncoming fireball.

Seven warriors were making their way to their deaths and here stood Cid Highwind. The chicken hearted one.

The one who had boldly lied to each one saying how he was going into battle. Only to find that when it came down to it, he was a big coward.

He fell to his knees, ignoring the pain that flashed through them as he roughly impacted with the earth. His shoulders sagged, his weapon lay a few feet in front of him. Glinting in the pale moonlight.

He had been the voice of optimism when the team had been at their lowest. He had given them prep talks about how they shouldn't give up.

Now here he sat, waiting for his death while the others walked right into theirs.

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You really are a coward Ciddy or cissy, the words of his older brother mocked. It had been years since the pilot had spoken to his family, he walked out just before he turned 15.

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17 long fucking years…Cid thought bitterly, _thought I'd be better off without them._

Dark thunder clouds gathered above him, making the air cooler and the wind more biting. The blonde pilot refused to move or even wrap his coat a little tighter around him.

Above the clouds, the huge fireball that had been dubbed Meteor bore down ever closer. All his fears and doubts were in that over sized pebble. Sephiroth had created that fire pebble, in the insane thought that he could become a god with it.

No matter how hard he tried to hid from it, it was there. Laughing at him.

He picked up a loose pebble an gazed at it, "I'm not a coward ya know."

"I mean, this aint like the goddamn rocket launch. There is no second chances," Cid continued explaining his reasons for not fighting.

The pebble did nothing, just as he expected it would. It sat in his shaking hand, vibrating gently with the motion.

"Screw this," he cursed as he threw the pebble back with the others.

He watched as the small stone bounced once and then landed. A single drop of rain fell on it and washed it clear of the dirt. Cid looked up into the sky, seeing only the metallic form of the Highwind filling his gaze.

His heart would usually fill with pride as he gazed on her form. Bring him some comfort but tonight, she didn't.

His pride had gone into the centre of the planet, thinking he didn't care for him.

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Vincent rolled to the ground, avoiding the blow the flying eyeball of a monster had dealt. He could feel his demon Chaos anger within him.

He drew out his weapon and aimed for the heart of the monster, hoping the shot would kill it. He was running low on magic and had no healing items on him.

Blood was flowing from cuts over his body. His right flesh hand had one across his knuckles from a previous fight, it stung as he clenched his hand.

"Why won't you die?" he muttered as the bullet tore right through the monster.

Yuffie stood beside him, leaping forward to slice the monster with her weapon whenever she had the chance. Cait Sith was out of the battle. The huge white mog being damaged from the surprise attack. The small cat that rode on it was valiantly trying to help in the fight.

His heart wasn't fully on the battle, part of him remained on the surface with Cid. The blonde had shown where his loyalty lay by refusing to join them. He couldn't believe how the blonde had lied to them all.

"Trust us to get the evil eye!" Yuffie moaned as she attacked the eyeball.

Vincent rolled his eyes, why did he have to get lumbered with the annoying child? Hadn't he atoned enough or was this still part of his punishment?

"Focus on the fight child," Vincent ordered, "I refuse to die listening to your whines."

"I was only saying," Yuffie ducked as the flying eyeball dived for her. She cried out as the monster clawed at her back, allowing for Vincent to leap on top of it.

He flexed his metal claw and grudgingly thanked Hojo for it. He plunged it into the soft part of the monster's neck, hearing it scream in pain. The monster bucked and threw him off before finally falling in defeat.

Vincent slid down the wall, pain searing across his shoulders and back. Tonight was going to be a long, for all concerned.

"You alright?" Yuffie crawled over to him, blood flowing from her wounds.

"I'll be fine," Vincent offered, "You?"

The ninja nodded, "I will be. Got any potions on ya?"

Vincent shook his head. His dark hair falling into his eyes. He rested his head against the cold wall, enjoying the coolness of it.

"I'm afraid not. What about you?"

Yuffie shrugged, "Nope, fresh out."

Cait Sith padded over, "My mog is outta the game…I'm near enough useless."

The cat sounded defeated and truly sorry. It hung it's white and grey head in shame.

"I'm really sorry."

Vincent said nothing as he gazed up, somewhere, Cid was heading back home to Rocket Town. Heading back home to Shera and the life he left behind.

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Why? Why did you stay only to leave when you were truly needed? Vincent wiped a mixture of dirt and tears out of his eyes. It hurt to think about the blonde, it hurt more than even Lucrecia.

Yuffie placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Hey? You with us?"

Vincent brought his eyes back to her, "……"

The teen smiled awkwardly, what could she say? She knew where his mind was. The stupid old fart that was Cid. The team had been surprised when he failed to follow.

"We should get moving," she said finally, "Get to the second meeting point."

Vincent nodded, he stood slowly. He found that the pit of depression that he had clawed out of was slowly consuming him once again. He didn't care anymore.

Cait Sith watched Vincent with interest, the man was a yoyo when it came to love. He had the kind of love that he could only dream of and Cid was throwing it away by not fighting side by side.

But Reeve knew how badly the blonde Shin-Ra pilot had been burned by a lover. He had watched the blonde go from life-is-good to I-hate-my-life in the space of days.

Every time he looked at Cid he could see the fear of losing Vincent. See the reluctance to show how he felt.

"He will show up," Cait Sith offered happily, "He needs a little time is all."

Vincent ignored him, "We better move. Cait Sith, how is your mog?"

The cat rolled his eyes, "I told you. Useless in a battle, I can move it but only real slow."

"Then it is better than nothing," Vincent hissed.

Yuffie picked up the cat and placed it back on the mog. Vincent stalked over to it and pulled it roughly up to it's huge feet.

"We don't have much time," Vincent stated, "So lets move."

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Didn't think chapter two would be that fast……..

Hope ya enjoy it. 


	3. 3

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Before I forget, I don't own ff7 or the poor souls that are forced into the fan fictions! I merely create the angst that they are forced to suffer! Spoony….I'll do my best to get the request for u! also, ur given me an ego! 

Anyhow, enjoy.

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"I can't believe he didn't come with us," Tifa carefully climbed down the rock face. Part of her wished that she had changed her clothes into something a little more covering. In this creepy cave, she felt like the walls were watching her. 

Cloud said nothing as he followed her. His mind on the upcoming battle with the former war general Sephiroth. He knew everyone was still in shock from the sudden change of heart from the blonde pilot.

"Who the hell cares?!" Barrett yelled from below, "Keep your mind on the job!"

Tifa raised her eyes above her, wondering how her friends were getting on. It had been hours since they last spoke, the PHS wasn't working. She missed their company, Vincent's quiet strength, Cait Sith incessant babbling and Yuffie's…well, she missed them all. She missed Cid, he'd of cracked a really awful joke.

Cloud waited for Tifa to get her feet firmly on the ground before leaping the few feet. His eyes glowed in the darkness, looking for the right way to go.

"It was his choice. We can't make him do anything he doesn't want to," he said finally.

The entire cave was warm but Tifa felt a cold chill run through her form. AVALANCHE was a member short, how could they survive? What if Cid was the one thing that held the fate of the planet?

She shook her head, no one man could be that important. Though, here she was, along with the rest of AVALANCHE, fighting on the belief that one woman's prayer could save the planet.

She wished for the simple, early days of AVALANCHE when all they had to worry about was how to find funding for the next mission. She missed working behind her bar, throwing out the drunks and rolling her eyes when some drunken idiot hit on her.

She missed her old life. After this, she would be forever known as Tifa Lockheart, hero of the planet. However…did the people of the planet really know what they were doing? Had the Shin-Ra in all it's wisdom actually told the truth about them?

Yes they were terrorists, yes they had killed many innocent people but didn't the general population know how hard the group was now fighting to save lives?

Would they know that one woman had died so they could live?

Perhaps Reeve would tell them, after all, he had said he was on their side. He could tell the world the brave story of AVALANCHE. He was getting first hand info on the tale. He was part of the future that they were trying to rescue.

Cloud placed a gentle hand on her bare forearm, breaking her out of her depressing thoughts. A smile played on his lips, making him seem a little younger than what the past few months had made him.

"You okay?" he locked onto her dark eyes.

Tifa nodded, "I…to be honest, I'm ready to pee my pants. I'm scared."

Cloud squeezed her forearm, trying to comfort her, "Don't worry. I won't leave you."

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Cid promised the same thing to Vincent, Tifa felt her depression get darker. Cloud would never be all hers. She would always share him with Aeris. Tifa would always live in her shadow.

"I know. As long as we're together," Tifa nodded, she wished the cave was a little cooler. The minute she faced Sephiroth, she'd tell him to get the air conditioning fixed.

"Yo! Over here!" Barrett's deep voice echoed in the spaciously eerie cave, "I think we're almost near the bottom."

Cloud shouted back to the founder of AVALANCHE, "Wait! We stay here. Wait for the others."

Cloud slowly turned around, checking out the surrounding area. The team had been lucky, they had encountered very few monsters on the road down. Hopefully the second team and Nanaki were having the same luck. The red lion creature had went back to aid the second team. Just in case things were going bad for the team.

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Cid slowly picked up the Venus Gospel, the moon had risen to it's apex. It cast it's rays on everything that was out. The Highwind glittered in the moonlight.

The blonde sighed, he'd been sitting outside in the cold for over 7 or so hours. Hoping to find his courage.

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Where oh where oh where's my courage? Cid sang mentally, he gave a bitter smile.

Cid paused, he wasn't going to find his answers sitting up in the cold. The human vomit machine, Yuffie was half his age and was going down to fight.

She hadn't complained once about going, she had won over her fears. Cloud had been scared when it came to facing Sephiroth but he was still going.

He turned round to get one last look at his mechanical baby, taking in the beauty of her. The silver metal sparkled, he could see the flicker of shadows from the crewmen still on board. It seemed that everyone had more balls than him.

"Well, Cid. It's time to find out what kind of a fool your mother made," he stepped closer to the edge, parts of the ledges were missing. Having crumbled into the crater when Cloud and co had started down.

The blonde leapt onto the first ledge, his heart thundering as he landed. The nauseating sickness had returned and was moving upwards and onwards into his throat.

He closed his eyes as he made for the second ledge, praying to any of the gods out there that the damn thing wouldn't budge. The team was a good couple of hours ahead of him and all he had for company was himself.

"Just hold on," Cid whispered into the wind, hoping somehow, Vincent could sense him.

"I'm on my way."

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Chapter three. See! Cid is going down to fight the good fight! Though……….will he get down in time to save the others?

Hope u all enjoy it.


	4. 4

Don't own the game. Damn…..

Thanks to all those who have reviewed, spoony, I'll try to write a funny fic with the 'accident'! lol

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The battles seemed to be relentless. Every few steps the trio took, they encountered monsters. Some were easy to defeat, a well timed blow would fell them. Others would take a little more out of the team.

Right now, they were fighting the hard assed monsters that had wandered over to them.

Had Vincent been one to moan about the unfairness of life, he would of down so explicitly by now. However, he had the pleasure of hearing Yuffie complaining enough for the entire group of AVALANCHE and then some.

The original plan would have been to separate the team into two teams of four. Now it was three to four. Vincent had been placed in charge of the three man team.

Cloud had given the former Turk the two most inexperienced fighters. Telling him that the experience would be a good morale boost to the other two. He had said nothing, perhaps he should of.

The dark man bitterly thought that Cloud didn't expect the team home. Once again, in all honesty, neither did Vincent.

The tonberry seemed to be mocking the tired team. It shuffled slowly from side to side, trying to decide which poor victim would meet their end of it's knife.

It picked the unfortunate Yuffie. The ninja gripped her weapon tighter, watching the monster make it's slow way to her. Her heartbeat became quicker, like it always did in battle.

Every move it made, made it's lantern sway and cast shadows about the small cave the team had been trapped in. the rusty knife it held glinted evilly in the low lighting.

Vincent growled in frustration. He hated the small toad like monster. He hated all monsters if he wanted to be honest with himself.

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Why is it that when your life is being threatened, you become more honest with yourself? Vincent gazed at the young teen and Cait Sith. He could see how tired they were and they were no where near the target area. They should have been at the second meeting point by now. It lead to one course of action. 

"This may be a battle we flee," Vincent tightened his own painful grip around his weapon. Chaos growled deep with in his mind, wanting the chance to be free. To protect his master.

Yuffie shook her head, her beaded hair bouncy against the metal clasp that held it in place.

The former turk sighed. They were all going to be killed by the teens pride. She had been taught never to run from a fight. She had all the skills required to be a Turk if she wanted.

Cait Sith, or the cat part of it bravely fought on, leaping in a spit of hissing to pounce on the tonberry's head. All that achieved was pissing the monster off.

Yuffie shifted from one foot to the other, telling Vincent that the teen was dealing with the fight or flight emotion. She was bravely battling her fears.

"You won't tell anyone if I run from this will you?" she asked timidly, Vincent could hear the shame in her voice.

Vincent waited until he emptied a round of bullets into the monster. He felt tired, spent and dejected.

"Only if you don't," he stated, never had he ran from battle but never had he lost the will to fight.

"No way," Yuffie promised, "I swear to the mighty god Leviathan."

Vincent nodded, trusting the words of the ninja. Cait sith was having trouble trying to move his huge white mog up, hearing the order to ran from battle. Vincent once again pulled the machine to it's feet, keeping a wary eye on the monster behind him. Yuffie leapt back, barley avoiding a fatal blow from the rusty old knife.

The former Turk provided cover fire as the three made for their escape. He could feel the shame emanate from his fellow fighters.

Gratefully, the Tonberry decided not to follow the trio. It musty of had it's fun mocking the group.

Yuffie skidded to a halt, panting for breath. She leaned heavily against the wall, shivering as her bare flesh touched the rock.

"Vincent, Yuffie! Cait Sith!" a voice called from the darkness.

The trio froze. Yuffie felt her heart leap into her throat. She was really beginning to hate surprises.

Vincent knelt back into the shadows, hiding from the new voice. The team had been fooled once by Jenova, claiming to be Tifa. This far into the mission, would not be a good thing. 

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Cid slipped as he climbed down the rock. Cursing as he lost his grip. Once again, tears threatened to take hold of the scared blonde but he knew that the action would be futile.

Crying got no one no where.

The cave had gotten darker as he walked on, it was more darker in the cave than outside. It was warmer in the cave as well. He could feel the sweat drip off his features.

He pulled his goggles off, rubbing a hand through his short hair. It even felt greasy through his gloves.

No matter how warm the cave was, he still had the cold shiver that had been haunting him.

So far his luck had held out. He hadn't encountered any monsters. All he had encountered was a trail of dead monsters leading down further into the cave.

He stopped and listened to the creepy echoes and sounds of the North Cave. All his body was allowing him to hear was his own heartbeat, it thundered in his chest. He felt like the entire cave was watching him. He felt ready for battle, even if he was petrified.

The atmosphere of the place felt like it was alive. The former Shin-Ra pilot was ready for screaming at the cold walls. He felt claustrophobic, he longed for the sky.

The entire place stank of Mako, stank of the Lifestream. Above all, it had the unmistaken smell of death.

Was Sephiroth creating the monsters that were roaming the place? Was he responsible for the creepy atmosphere?

He pulled out the PHS he had, wishing it would work. He didn't realise that he was dialling Vincent's PHS until he looked at the small screen and found it rather proudly trying to ring the other cell.

The simple name brought some form of hope to his heart, once he got Vincent on the other line, it would be a simple thing of meeting the rest of the team a few hours later.

He stopped himself from pushing the end button, he was scared to hear what Vincent would say to him but he was scared not to continue the call. The blonde needed to hear the soft reassuring voice.

He raised the phone to his ear, expecting to hear the familiar ringing sound. All that greeted his ear was a dead line. His heart raced, did something happen to Vincent?!

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Shit! God, please don't let it be that! he panicked, the same sickness he'd felt at the top of the cave crept back. The numbness that had taken his legs threatened to return.

He shook his head, clearing it of any of the horrid thoughts about the demise of Vincent. As hard as he could, he couldn't help the thoughts from creeping into his mind.

Images of a blood soaked corpse filtered into his mind. Monsters taking huge bites out of him…it made his stomach churn. His heart ache.

Concern began to build for the rest of AVALNCHE as well. Cloud was a capable leader but…if Sephiroth could do the whole mind over matter and control the young kid's mind…well, it spelt disaster for the rest of AVALANCHE.


	5. 5

hey folks, sorry for the long wait for a new chapter. Damn muses bit me into writing another couple of stoies. They always do that….slaps cid and Vincent…bad muses but I forgive.

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Nanaki ran carefully up the bizarre rock formations that had been formed in the creepy and warm cave. His nose tingled with all the different smells intermingling and the dryness of the cave.

It was almost impossible to discern the scents of his friends, Vincent was the most recognizable of the missing three because of all the chemicals in his frail form.

The lion creature sniffed the air, hoping to pick out at least one of his friends. As much as the group hated admitting it, they were all family now. Bound and tied by the fate the planet had deemed onto them.

Cloud's words entered his head, _'At least we'll die quicker than the rest of the planet if we don't make it.'_

That was true, if they failed, if they were killed at the hands of Sephiroth and Jenova. However…they could win. They could defeat the threat of death to the planet.

However if they failed…they would all be part of Sephiroth. The ultimate evil and the most powerful being in the known universe. Had the Cetra, when they had defeated the evil Jenova been this afraid?

Nothing of the Cetra had survived the thousands of years that had passed. Very few remnants remained to see, the last ever half Cetra falling once again by the hand of Jenova.

But the ancient beings had won, the few that had gathered and joined forces had managed to save their civilization. Perhaps, AVALANCHE was repeating the mission and would be graced with the good fortune their predecessors had.

The simple thought made him speed up his search, three people couldn't take the evil on. All seven of them could…it should have been eight of them.

The human, Cid, abandoned them at the last minute. Scared by the godlike form of Sephiroth. Why had he returned to the Highwind? Why had he said those comforting words to Vincent, only to turn away?

It didn't matter, not now. If they survived this battle, he would perhaps inquire as to why he had ran.

"Vincent, Yuffie! Cait Sith!" he called out into the darkness. 

No response, not that he had actually expected one from the absent trio. He had to rid himself of the horrid feeling of loneliness that had been creeping up on him. What if the trio had fallen?

"Who's there?" a female voice shouted back.

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Yuffie? Yuffie! Nanaki felt a surge of relief flood his system. At least they were okay, that they were alive.

"It is I, Nanaki. Where are you?" the son of Seto called back.

The response was slow in coming, as if his friends weren't quite sure that he was real. Did they recall how Sephiroth had tricked them weeks ago by changing into Tifa? Vincent was always cautious to the point of callousness. 

"Ahead of you, I think. Thought you guys would be at the second meeting point," Yuffie sounded dubious as to the lion's claims.

"…I was sent to help you," Nanaki sniffed the air, trying to locate the young ninja.

He heard some mutterings in front of him. The words had to be said by Vincent, he barely spoke louder than a whisper.

"By who?" Yuffie shouted back, "And…what's the secret password?"

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Password? Are they really that distrusting? the warrior from Cosmo Canyon slowly padded forward, he caught the unmistakable stench of blood. Was one of his friends wounded?

"Cloud. There is no password, not to my knowledge," the lion narrowed his yellow eye, he felt like the walls were watching him. He did not like the smell that was being distributed around the cave.

That seemed to satisfy the nervous teen, she stood up from her hiding place. Cait Sith had been a little harder to hide, the large white mog had been rather unceremoniously shoved flat on it's face to hide behind the largest rock. Vincent was the hardest to locate, he remained in the shadows.

"It's Red," Cait Sith beamed, "He's probably got potions. So, we can get down to where the others are in no time."

Vincent stepped out from his hiding place, "Why did Cloud send you?"

The lion was surprised at how flat and toneless his friend's voice was. Granted, the dark man very rarely spoke passionately about anything but he had more life than that.

"He was concerned. There was no sign of you making your way down," Nanaki spoke truthfully and honestly. He took the chance to look at how his friends were baring up.

The three before him looked tired and battered. Cloud and the others had encountered monsters but not to the extent of his friends it seemed. Had they encountered Sephiroth and not told the others about it.

Vincent looked back at something, "We had things pretty easy. We just stopped of for some coffee."

The comment should of elevated the groups mood but the tone was once again flat and lifeless. It sounded more like and accusation rather than a playful joke.

The lion's answer was cut off by a muffled explosion a few levels above them and a surprise earthquake that rocked the small area of the cave they were in. 

Yuffie yelped in surprise as Vincent tackled her before he was lost in the rockslide from above. Nanaki leapt back, barely avoiding the teen that had been thrown his way. The small cat that controlled the white mog scrambled out from a small crack that had formed.

The ninja screamed for Vincent, hoping he'd change into Chaos and break free from the rocks. She waited for what seemed like an eternity, hoping that any minute that he'd made good.

"……Holy crap…" Cait Sith muttered, "I think he's dead."

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Chapter 5 up. There ya go kids. Dang…another cliff hanger. Really should learn how to finish them off. Hope u enjoy.

Hey spoony! Damn muses wouldn't let me update. The pair had me writing another fic. Return of the highwind. Hope this quenches ur thirst.


	6. 6

Thanks to spoony and Lora Helen and everyone who has reviewed so far!

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He ducked as he threw the small but powerful stick of dynamite in front of him. The cavern he was in shook, loose rocks falling from the ceiling above him. The ground beneath his boots also shook from the attack and he heard a distant rumbling emerge from below him. The tonberry looked at him oddly, it seemed like the attack did nothing but cause a few minor pebbles to fall from the ceiling.

"See how ya like a bolt of lighting up your ass," Cid focused his energy into the powerful lighting spell and grinned in pleasure as the monster fell.

"Teach ya to mess with a Highwind," the blonde walked over to, examining the previous scars it had.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly, it wasn't the fact that he was physically so it was more of a mental fatigue. He dragged his feet passed the monster, resisting the urge to spit on it and the urge to give it a swift kick to make himself feel slightly better.

The blonde captain paused as he headed deeper into the cavern, how far were his friends into the cave? They had a good few hours of a head start but they could have been slowed by monsters or the terrain. Could he actually catch up with the team before they battled Sephiroth and Jenova?

The thought seemed appealing. More so than it did a few hours back, why did he allow his fear to overwhelm him? He should have been commanding the second time down in to the fight. Not crying like some goddamned moron up at the entrance.

He had told the one person he cared about that he loved him. He should of went with him to their deaths without hesitation but he had. He had stood right outside of deaths doorway and had turned to go back. If the group failed, he would of caused it. If they failed to return but succeeded, he would live forever, knowing that he could of prevented the deaths.

He couldn't live with himself if that came to pass. To much had gone on between them, he considered every one of them family.

He hadn't said those three little words with a big meaning to anyone in a long time. Not his folks, friends or his fiancée once a upon a time. When everything was so warm and reliable, when everything didn't depend on whether or not AVALANCHE succeeded in saving a planet.

Part of him always wondered when exactly he had fallen for Vincent and the dark haired beauty for him. He wasn't the most polite person when he had first encountered the group. Hell, there was Midgar snakes more friendly than him.

The first night he had spent with the group had been hellish. He was drunk from the afternoons drinking and was sobering up. Didn't help much that he had became addicted to the booze he was drinking either so much of his anger the first few days and nights had been more of a withdrawal symptom rather than who he really was. 

Underneath the cruel words and insults he spouted, he was actually a half decent guy. Always did as he was told, never did drugs or beat women. He was happy with the mess he had scrounged up for himself until the rocket launch. 

Things had gone from bad to worse within a matter of days after that.

He had just lost control, did everything that good boys shouldn't do. Drugs, booze, violence…he turned into a very nasty person. Even he didn't love himself, so how could any one else?

__

That why I didn't go with him? Was I to afraid to put my trust in him only to have him taken from me? Cid gripped his weapon tightly and let out a shaky sigh, _…shit, I didn't even think as to how this was scaring him. I let my own fears and doubts emerge over him when I swore that I wouldn't._

He had been rude and hellish but when Vincent had shoved him into the water to cool off, he began to feel a little respect for the man. When did it turn to love though?

~~~~~~~~~

The first night after cid joins the group…..

__

The night hadn't been that unusual from the other nights the team had spent under the stars. It was a starry night and the salty air made everyone feel good. 

They simply had a new member in the form of Cid Highwind, a brutally honest pilot who wouldn't know subtlety if it smacked him in the face. The team also suspected the said blonde had a problem with alcohol. That would of explained the whole stinking attitude.

The blonde pilot didn't interact with the rest of the team as much as Cloud thought he would. He seemed to distance himself from the rest, avoiding any kind of interaction with the eight gathered round the small campfire.

Vincent seemed more friendlier than the older blonde. The quiet member sat and stared into the red flames of the fire, his pale face taking on a pale glow. His dark red eyes catching the flames and making them shine with a power far greater from within. He took a second to look at the lone blonde sitting on top of a useless pink plane. 

Why is he sitting alone? What demons haunt him? _Vincent crossed his arms, sighing into the fire._

Aeris stood up, with a small plate in her delicate grip and headed over to where Cid was sitting. The plan was to give the blonde something to eat and a chance for a small chat. Something to get him interacting with them.

"Hey," she called to him, "Captain? Would you like something to eat?"

Cid didn't turn round, he kept his blue eyes on the setting sun. His mood getting darker as the sun set. He was still furious about the afternoon. The failed restart of the rocket programme and the fact that he had his precious baby, the Tiny Bronco shot at didn't help his mood.

Aeris didn't take the hint, she carefully crawled onto the pink wing. Just as carefully she walked along it.

"Captain Highwind? Are you hungry?"

The flower girl didn't see his jaw twitch in anger. He flashed her a dark look, muttered something extremely unflattering before returning his gaze back to the sunset. 

"Excuse me?" Aeris took a tone that was rare for her. She didn't appreciated being ignored like some animal. Also, she hadn't quite forgiven him for the way he treated the timid woman, Shera, back in Rocket Town.

"Get the fuck away from me girl," Cid avoided the angry look on the girl's face, "If I need anything, I'll get it myself. I do have two fucking hands so if ya want to help someone help the vampire or Mr Right hand man."

Vincent shot the blonde a foul look, he narrowed his eyes. The blonde was becoming increasingly unpleasant demons or no demons. Hadn't he been brought up to respect women? His mind wandered back to Rocket Town and the mouse of a woman Shera, apparently not.

Barret was near ready to explode at the Shin-Ra captain, the large man moved to get up but was stilled by the small brunette Tifa.

It seemed like Aeris wasn't finished with the blonde so Vincent allowed it to continue. Until he deemed a threat was there, he was happy to allow the young woman attempt to make friends.

"That was really mean. Take it back," Aeris ordered.

The pilot snorted, "Get bent."

The flower girl's eyes widened to saucers, who did this guy think he was? Why was he being so unruly to the group?

"I'm only trying to be nice to you," Aeris frowned, "Why are you being so mean?"

Cid stood up, he towered above her. He looked into her eyes and snorted,

"Trust me, this is me being real friendly."

"Trust me, I think you are being a complete jerk," Aeris poked him in the chest, trying to prove her point.

Cid raised an eyebrow, "Like I give a damn what you think. Go screw Cloud or something. Anything, just get out of my face will ya?"

"I would apologize to the young woman," Vincent finally broke his silence, he stood up and headed towards the plane.

Again, Cid snorted, "Yeah…probably right. I think the lion would be more her lines."

Vincent leapt to where the two were standing and gave Cid a dangerous look, "Captain Highwind, the next words uttered better be an apology."

The captain looked away for a moment, contemplating his next few words, "Get bent. What makes you think I give a damn anyhow?"

All of AVALANCHE were up on their feet, none had seen Vincent get so annoyed at anything since he joined them. They didn't know whether or not to get involved in the fight that would probably start.

Vincent suddenly shoved the blonde off the Bronco and into the cold water before leaping in himself. He waited the few moments, allowing the blonde to recollect himself.

"The fuck did ya do that for you stupid son-of-a-bitch?!" Cid exploded, he struggled to stand in the gentle current.

"You need to cool off," Vincent stated with little passion, "I refuse to allow a man act like that in front of a lady."

"I really don't give a fuc…" he was cut off by the taller man shoving him yet again back into the water.

"Nor do I care for that kind of language," Vincent stood above him, anger flashed in his eyes for a second. He motioned the blonde to strike by beckoning him.

The blonde readied himself for an attack, pulling his arm back to punch Vincent, "Again, think I care?"

Almost to fast for even the more sober members of the watching group, Vincent was behind the blonde within a matter of seconds. He grabbed the blonde round the waist from behind.

"Let go!" Cid roared as he squirmed against the grip.

All Vincent did was hold on a little tighter, knowing that if he did let go, the blonde would turn round and flatten him. A few moments passed, the blonde still tried to free himself but it was getting more weaker by the minute.

"…let go," Cid muttered quietly, "please?"

Vincent shook his head, "Not until you at least say sorry."

Cid slumped back into the former Turk, taking the man off balance a little.

Cid raised his head and looked at Aeris who was beside Cloud and the others by then, "…Shit…Sorry."

His release from the grip caught him unaware and he was rather unceremoniously dumped into the water. No man alive would have had the balls to do that to him. They would have had their heads taken firmly of their shoulders for even thinking about the action.

He looked up to see Vincent hold out his flesh hand, "You know, you're the only man to have done that."

The man above him smiled slightly, "You're the only man I've held in over thirty years."

Cid took the hand, "Should I be worried about that?"

Vincent gave him a secret smile after the blonde headed to shore, giving the smaller man a quick once over, "Perhaps."

The captain waited for him to reach the sandy beach, frowning slightly, "You say something Valentine?"

"Not at all. Tell me Highwind," Vincent walked by him, "Are you this friendly to people or do you work at it?"

Cloud stood and watched the two at the beach, not quite hearing the conversation. Once again the blonde angered but a few moments later he laughed.

Aeris stood beside the ex-soldier with a strange smile on her face, "I think Vincent found his friend."

Cloud looked at her with a puzzled expression, "Huh? What are you talking about?"

Again the strange smile never failed, "You'll find out later, I think whenever Cid acts up, we should let Vincent deal with him and vice versa."

Cloud shrugged. He was working with some of the oddest people on the planet but they all seemed like good people, trying to work past their own demons."

Aeris got him with another cryptic remark, "Just wish I could see the end result."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Present

Cid squeezed by a thin rock crack, holding his breath to get past. He wasn't big but the years of drinking beer had gotten him a bit of a beer belly, one that he was currently trying to work off.

Vincent had once joked in one of their private moments that he actually preferred a meat on his victims, also that having some form of fat was healthy if the team travelled a lot. It meant that his body had some form of reserve to fall back on when the food and money was scarce.

__

"So you're calling me fat?" Cid had said rather annoyed.

Vincent leaned over the table in the hotel room they were staying in and kissed him lightly on the lips, "I'm calling you mine."

The blonde smiled as he licked his lips, tasting the drink on his friend's lips. The urge to have one returned with full force, he had gone over a week not touching one but his smoking had went through the roof.

"You haven't answered my question," Cid pulled back slightly when he saw Vincent move for a second kiss, "Am I?"

The former Turk shook his head, "No, I…like you exactly the way you are."

Cid shook himself as he freed himself from the crack, he scanned the area. Did he cause more trouble than good when he chucked his stick of explosive at that bastard tonberry?

Something made him shout out, "Vincent?! Yuffie? Cait?"

Nothing, except for the strange wind that howled in here. He scanned for an exit, his blue eyes narrowing as he spotted a rock pile to the far end of the cavern………

****************

Chapter 6 up! Thanks to those who reviewed. Midnight loner, I still hope ur reading this…I figured that if he was going to lead a team and if he was in the turks, he could still have his own one…granted it would be the size of a brick but a phone none the less!

Spoony, yep, I like ff9. And please stop with the ego!!! Lol, I love ya all.

Next fic I do will have the deep and meaningful two minute noodles! lol


	7. 7

So dreadfully bout the wait. Work, life and laundry been weighing me down. Still with me people?

*********

Pain. 

That was all that filled his world right then. Pain and a lot of dust. Something weighed heavily on his back, all over his body if he was correct. Every small movement hurt like hell, breathing was slowly becoming more difficult.

__

Why is it that pain follows me? Have I got a target sign strapped to my ass? Are the gods playing some sick joke on me? Vincent rarely bitched about how bad his life really was, he simply allowed it to consume him.

****

You were caught in a rock slide, Chaos casually told him, **trying to save the ninja from being crushed to death. How very noble.**

__

If she is safe, then I don't mind, Vincent calmly retorted, _Perhaps my death can at least save one young life._

****

Your ideas of heaven and the life stream suck if you believe this is it, Chaos shot back, **I suggest moving in order to finish what you started. Sides all you have done is replaced her death with a new method.**

__

I have started nothing. I would be ending the life of my love's son, the former Turk said in the same eerily calm voice.

__

I'm being buried by the weight if my sins that I haven't atoned for, Vincent deduced.

Chaos roared mentally at the words being spoken by the human part of him. When would the human learn that he was never the one who sinned? When would he realise that his precious love did not love him?

****

You mean that bitch that placed us here? Trust me, I doubt that would of worked out between you. She was far to wrapped up in her science. Sides, _she _was the one who requested for you to be taken off the Jenova project after you found out that they were using human specimens. Anyhow, we love Highwind. Not _that woman_.

__

We?

****

……if you care for someone, so do we, Chaos admitted slowly.

****

A gift from Hojo. He thought it would be fun if we shared the same feelings, an extremely sour laugh came from the winged demon, **so please, continue believing that your love for her was true and she you. She loathed you. **

__

Then who does love me? Everyone I love leaves me.

****

Who? Cid does.

Vincent tried to shake his head, only to find he was unable to. After a few moments, he gave a pathetic little cry. He didn't want to hear the accusations and truths Chaos was spouting at him.

He did know that he had been ordered from the Jenova Project hours before he had been shot by the bastard Hojo in the secret lab. Watched as Lucrecia had witnessed the shooting from the little office and the look of sorrow as blackness claimed him back then and in the present…

****

Vincent's past….

__

He took a deep breath of the cool, crisp Nibel air. Coughing as some of the cigarette smoke he was smoking went into his windpipe.

His thoughts resting and dancing all at the same time, dreaming of the future. A future ran by the all wonderful Shin-Ra.

Was he going to have children? A wife? He leaned a little further against the railing and considered those mile stones that he should consider passing.

I have plenty of time for those things. I'm only 27 years old and I am not gonna drop down dead within the next couple of years, _Vincent sighed again and took another thoughtful puff of the cigarette._

"Those things will kill you," a gentle female voice filtered through his thoughts.

Vincent smiled broadly, "No…I think that honour will go to time…or perhaps a bus. Or even better…"

He pulled the female into his arms and gave her a mischievous grin as he whispered softly into her ear, "Dying with you on top."

The answer made the woman blush and squirm, "Stop that Vincent Valentine!"

"You're right. I don't plan on dying. I'm gonna live forever," Vincent lifted his dark brown eyes to the heavens and raised his voice.

"Do you hear me stars?! Vincent Valentine will see you all burn out long before the reaper comes a knocking on my door!"

Lucrecia gazed into the intent eyes of her secret lover. Amazed at the determination in them and if anyone could defy the stars and their fate. It was the man standing in front of her. 

He could if he wanted live forever, that's why she had fallen for him. He never followed the road set for him, always tried to deviate from the path.

"What are you doing up this late?" she asked, "I heard from Hojo that you had asked for some time off. So very unlike you. Is something wrong?"

"No. I was just sick of staring at his greasy assed, spectacled wearing, badly dressed, whiny voiced nerd ways. Sides…he smells," Vincent gently caught Lucrecia as she attempted to break free of the loose embrace.

He could see the patience thinning for him as he slagged off her husband to be, "Vincent. I care for him and I hate it when you torment him. He's only doing his job. Just like you should be."

Vincent released his grip, "He treats you like some measly little lab assistant!"

That earned him a patient sigh with just a hint of anger, "I am a measly little lab assistant! He's my boss!"

Vincent was desperate to smooth the waves he had created by bad mouthing his love's fiancé. He looked at the stars and smiled.

"I'm sorry. I guess you do know what you are doing, I mean, you are a grown woman." 

****

You couldn't fucking stop her from screwing up her life, ya know? It was her choice, don't let it beat ya up. _A voice suddenly sprang into his mind._

Not again…I thought I had taken care of that, _he closed his eyes and tried to block out the words and conversations that always seemed to follow. The voices had started a few weeks ago, starting only as timid whispers. _

****

And…uh…I was wondering if you would be my valentine? _the voice continued. A male voice with a distinctive drawl to it._

"Vincent? Are you alright?" Lucrecia's voice filtered once again into his mind.

"……Yes," he lied.

How could he explain that he had been hearing things and voices for the past couple of weeks? More to the point, it was the same one over and over.

He could feel a headache form in the back of his head. Was he finally going crazy?

Insanity was not that common for a Valentine family member…well, except for great aunt Tannie who proclaimed to the world that she was a giant chocobo and was betrothed to the chocobo king.

Well, I'm not a fan of chocobos so I doubt I will proclaim love for them, _Vincent rubbed his neck tiredly and gave Lucrecia a small smile._

"You look tired Vincent," the lab assistant replied gently. She gently pushed him in the direction of the mansion.

Something made the Turk pull back from the direction, "No…I…I'd rather not. I'll stay at the inn or something."

Lucrecia frowned, "Vincent…don't be so ridiculous. Your room is the only place to be if your not feeling well."

"It's nothing. Really," Vincent gently kissed her forehead, concerned that he had to bite back bile that seemed to grow stronger when he even went near her.

A few days later

"Come with me, leave Hojo," Vincent pleaded as he held her hands.

The small woman shook her head, "I can't. I…I'm going to have his child."

An evil thought crossed his head, "I can kill him for you if you want me too. I don't care. I can kill him, hell. It's my job. Just say the word!"

"What?!" the woman looked horrified, "No! I love him!"

"Sure…enough to screw me for the past few months. Oh yeah, I'd hate to see what hate is for ya," he didn't expect the slap but even he wouldn't deny that he didn't deserved it.

"We're different. Don't ever compare us to me and Hojo!" Lucrecia hissed.

The sentence should of struck warning bells in his mind but it hadn't. he was fuelled with the urge to get out of Nibelheim as fast as he possibly could. He wanted to take Lucrecia to safety and away from the experiments.

"But I love you, more than anything on the planet. doesn't that mean anything?" Vincent had to stop from sounding to whiney as he pleaded with her not to stay.

"I've made my decision. I can't leave him, my work, our work is far too important," Lucrecia turned away from him.

"The child might be mine. Did you ever think of that?"

He tried to stop her leaving as she ran to the mansion. He rubbed his eyes, what had Hojo have over her?

"Why? How can you love him? He doesn't love you…" he hung his head sadly.

A week later

Vincent slammed the phone down in pure anger. His usually calm temper had been pushed to new heights because of the new experiments by Hojo and the other scientists.

They were messing with the very foundations of life!

Using humans in their mad schemes. Who the hell did Hojo think he was?

It was bad enough that Lucrecia was pregnant with the bastard's child but the fact was that she was allowing Hojo to use her in the experiment!

"That stupid bitch! You don't screw with the planet, it only pisses off mother nature," Vincent grabbed his coat and headed out of the door.

"Hojo!" he roared as he bolted down the aging stairs. Sanity for the moment had left Vincent.

Hojo looked up from the table he was working at as the young man burst into the room. His beady eyes narrowing straight away.

"Mr Valentine," he hissed, "I was expecting you sooner."

Vincent stalked over to the doctor, towering above the measly little man. His eyes burned with rage as Hojo avoided eye contact.

"Is it true that you are planning on using Lucrecia in an experiment?!" Vincent found his rage was barely keeping in check. If he wasn't careful, he would have quite happily pounded Hojo's face into the wall.

"She and I are both scientists," Hojo explained calmly.

"I don't care if you and her are both limbo dancers! What you are planning on doing is morally wrong on god knows how many levels!" Vincent took deep breaths, feeling the cold butt of his handgun press against his rib cage.

Oh how tempting it was just to place a well aimed bullet in Hojo's head, end all the pain that was bound to follow this experiment and lie to Lucrecia about how the bastard died. Simple suicide explanation would do.

Hojo spoke in the same calm voice, "Tell me Valentine. Do you think the child is yours?"

That broke all the anger within Vincent, it replaced it all with surprise. Did Hojo know…of course he did if he asked that question.

"How…?"

"Did I find out? She told me. Did you honestly think that she would go with you? Leave her work behind and run like a pair of love struck teens?" Hojo had Vincent transfixed to the spot. He enjoyed the look of surprise that had replaced the anger. 

Hojo screamed the last words at the frozen Turk, "SHE IS MINE!"

The young Turk didn't even have time to grab his gun as Hojo calmly shot him. He gasped as the bullet tore through his skin.

Lines of a poem gently floated into his mind, well, it had more of a revenge thing going to it and he could never remember the entire thing but his fading mind thought it was fighting those small two lines.

He fell forward, he spotted Lucrecia in the small office. Her face marred with tears and a mixture of guilt and sorrow.

From Hell's heart I stab at thee, For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.

****

VINCENT?! YUFFIE! CAIT! _the voice it seemed was calling his name from the darkness…_

Present

Cait Sith had opted to stay with the fallen Vincent and the rocks. Hoping against hope that the scary man would emerge from his tomb any second but his hope had began to fade the longer he waited.

He had waited over an hour or so for the man to arise but, as the minutes ticked by, so did the chance of stopping Meteor. The longer he waited, the closer the thing came.

He had began the slow walk out of the cavern when he had heard someone bellow out his name in the room he had just left. Never in all his days did he expect to be so happy in hearing the course tongue of the blonde pilot.

__

We sure have changed, Cait thought, _we never would of bonded expect for Aeris…_

"Vincent?! Yuffie! Cait!"

Cait span round on his small hind legs and bounded back into where he had left, stunned to see one tired looking Cid Highwind. Had he been able to contact the others, he would of done so in an instant. How great was this?! A morale boost at long last.

"….CID!" the cat leapt the few metres separating them and onto the blonde's blue flight jacket. If he could have cried then the small grey and white cat would have. 

Cid with all his usual friendliness peeled the small grey and white mechanical cat off him and held him at arms length, "Where the fuck is everyone? Why aren't ya with 'em?"

"They all should be at the second meeting point by now. Yuffie and Red will be meeting up with the others," the cat explained.

"What about Vincent?" 

Cait Sith watched as the blonde's blue eyes narrowed. He wasn't going to enjoy hearing this. He wasn't going to enjoy saying it either.

"…he pushed Yuffie out of the way when we got caught in a rock slide. He…he," his human operator, Reeve found it difficult to even say the words.

Numbly, he lifted his tiny arm and pointed to the huge rocks, his head lowered to the ground. He felt Cid tense under him, felt Cid's expert hands squeeze that little bit harder on his frame.

A damn cold chill ran up and down the length of the pilot's spine like wildfire. It spread it's icy grip down his arms and legs, across his back. It felt like his world had came crashing down.

"No…no," Cid dropped the mechanical cat and stumbled back, "You're lying." 

Cait recognized the pain that suddenly flashed in the blonde's blue eyes. The exact same look had been placed on it 10 years back. The look of denial and horror as you tell the surviving love their lover was dead.

"You have no idea how much I wish I was," Cait lowered his head even further.

The captain span round to the rocks and shook his head, "No…not Vincent. He can't die…he…I…"

"Let's get back to the others," Cait offered.

Cid seemed frozen to the spot, "You go. I'm staying here."

Cait Sith frowned, "Don't…we need you. We're all in this together."

Cid ignored the cat as he began to franticly pull rocks away, hoping against hope that his valentine was somehow still alive. His gloved fingers sliding over the slimy rocks.

"Cid!"

"I'm not leaving til I see proof," Cid sniffed back tears, "Not again."

********

Can we all say eek? Sorry bout the wait. Next chap, why cid's disastrous love life is so bad.


	8. wha? chaper 8? holy montana!

DigitalJessie! Nooooo! Please don't! I'll update more! I'm not mean!! just really bad at not writing cliff hangers! How else to I keep you guys reading?

Bfcat, I remember reading it a long time ago too…:p must update quicker!

Spoony, got any aspirins? My head kinda hurts after the rock bashing….

Anyhow, an update at long last! Enjoy!

Kawaii, for your pleasure and enjoy kay?

**************

Second meeting point,,,

Cloud sat on the mouldy green rock patiently. His blue eyes flitting from small pebble to large boulder, his hands lightly gripping his Ultima weapon. He could feel his heart rate quicken in his chest and his palms grew sweaty.

The team, his friends, were all scattered in this creepy place. He could only tell for certain which two were alive and well. Hoping with all his might that the other four were all making their way down.

A small part of him wanting the fifth and missing member to make his way down. Vincent had never looked so lost as when Cloud had ordered him to command the team.

__

"Okay…Vincent, you've had leadership experience before right?" Cloud shifted his weight from foot to foot, trying to keep some of the weight off the growing blisters that had been forming since he took the first step down.

"I…ah…as a Turk I commanded small teams," Vincent managed, clearly looking uneasy with the question.

"You command the second team," Cloud smiled, hoping he was doing the right thing by forcing the leadership on the quiet man.

"You'll be fine," Cloud resisted the urge to punch Vincent playfully on the arm, anything to get a smile or a look of agreement from the pale man.

Vincent opened his mouth to say something, perhaps a protest but was silenced by an evil blast of wind. He merely nodded and looked down to the centre of the planet he was going to save.

Would he have _really_ listened if Vincent had protested? Would he have cared? He'd given the man the most annoying in the team, the two with the least fighting experience. 

He had chosen Barret and Tifa. The two who had been in this from the start, they only two who really had a clue as t why they were fighting and doing this. 

No matter how hard things had went, they were always on hand. Barret with his ideas and Tifa with her belief in him. However hard it hit the fan, they had stood beside him and fought with him.

Like it had done for the past hour, his mind went to his missing new friends. How were they all coping? Where they all on their down here? Where they all okay?

Are they all still alive?

That question seemed to echo in his mind like his voice in the crater. Bouncing around in his mind like a child's ball in a busy playground. 

__

If their not, you're the one to blame, a cold voice whispered in a type of sing song in his mind, _you lead them down to do the impossible. You've killed them._

Cloud shook his head mentally, _No. I didn't make them come down here. They had the choice, I didn't and haven't killed them._

The cold voice simply laughed at him, _Whatever you say._

"I haven't killed them," Cloud muttered.

Tifa looked up from where she was kneeling, a confused look etched on her features. Her dark brown eyes appearing to be black in the horrid light.

"Excuse me?" she said, her voice echoed in the morbid area.

The ex-SOLDIER shook his head, "Nothing. I…little freaked. I'm worried bout the others. They should be here."

Barret turned round from his staring point, "They'll be fine. I mean, we got here without ya."

"You got here with Cid's help," Cloud countered, "Cid was the one who stopped the train and rescued Fort Condor from the Shin-Ra."

Barret's face darkened, "I know that! Damn…I…Corel owes him one. Damn pilot didn't even think about leaping onto that runaway train."

Tifa smiled softly, she could of just imagined seeing the ageing blonde yell something and leap head first onto the train, cursing about the unfairness of his life.

"He didn't tell me about that," Cloud stated, "said he didn't want me to freak out again."

"Damn near thought he was gonna have a heart attack when he stopped the goddamn train though…" Barret scratched under his chin, recalling the event, "Damn blonde was ready for cracking up and just bailing out on the team then. Muttering something bout how he almost killed everyone."

"What made him stay?" Cloud frowned, could this of been the first sign that Cid had doubts? If so, then why hadn't someone in the team said something sooner?

Barret raised a thin eyebrow, "Ya aint that thick Spike. Whodja think?"

****

Just after saving Corel….

__

Vincent watched the scene in amazement. Amazed at how the small dusty town had accepted Barret back into the community so fast. Amazed and a little jealous.

He would be forever looked upon as a monster, something to be feared by small children and pitied by those old enough to understand his pain.

Barret had never looked so happy in his time with the group, the large man grinning from ear to ear like the cat who got the cream. His mouth however, sounded the same. Every second word was damn or goddamn. Every third sentence would be damning the Shin-Ra.

All of AVALANCHE had gathered…well, almost all. Cloud and Tifa were absent. Aeris, lost forever to the planet. The group, taking the chance for a little R&R before going back into the foray that had become the norm for them.

His red ruby eyes searched the gathering crowd for a certain man, trying to catch a glimpse of a pair of goggles or cigarette smoke but falling short.

It meant he would have to ask Yuffie or Barret if they had seen him.

Vincent gently pushed himself past the crowd, looking for the pair. Instead, he bumped into Cait Sith, gently rocking in his bizarre way. The small cat curled up on the large white head of the mog.

Cait Sith's controller must have been away or sleeping. That raised questions in the former Turk's mind. Who would help AVALANCHE in the Shin-Ra? Someone in power…or at least access to it.

His ideas, his theories were next to useless in this timeline. He knew nothing about the current power structure, except that Rufus was the president and that Palmer was head of…of what? The science…no, that had that bastard Hojo, didn't it? 

Security…no, Headigger and Scarlet shared that honour from what he was lead to believe.

No one had actually sat him down and filled him in. He had had to figure out what was happening. Simply being told that they were out to save the planet.

"Good to see that someone isn't bothered by the party," he muttered softly, "Now…where are our misguided allies?"

"VINNNNNIIIIIEEEEEE!" came an unmistakable screech, it's owner appearing a few seconds later.

The great ninja Yuffie, half staggered, half stumbling towards him. She was drunk for all to see, but so was half the population of Corel.

Vincent took a deep breath, Yuffie was always annoying when sober but drunk? Did he really have the patience to deal with her?

"Yuffie…have you…," he was cut off by the minute teen hugging him and trying to planet a big wet kiss on his cheek.

"HaveIwhat?" she slurred, she sighed happily.

Once again he took a deep breath, "Cid. Have you seen Cid?"

"Nope," she shook her head abit to fast, her tanned face turning that interesting shade of green she went when she was seasick or travel sick.

"Bathr…" Vincent resisted the urge to roll his eyes as the teen threw up, barely missing his feet.

Cid sat with his feet dangling over the edge of the ledge. His eyes closed and he allowed the wind to the take his thoughts. He was just so very tired, all he wanted was to curl up in his own bed and forget the world existed.

He was tempted just to leap off, forget that he had a role to play in the insane act that he had been forced into. To stop being a puppet and to be his own man, to be himself.

Yeah, as if that is gonna happen anytime soon buddy boy, face it, you're fucked, _Cid ran his hands through his hair, trying to shake out all his thoughts._

I mean, let's face it. You almost destroyed Barret's home, the Shin-Ra almost took Fort Condor.

__

The pilot wondered where the hell the rational voice seemed to came from. Why hadn't it been there when Cloud and co and nicked his baby, the Tiny Bronco? Telling him not to jump aboard?

"Any closer and ya would have had to explain to your grandkids why ya sing soprano…," Cid sighed tiredly.

Ah yes, grandkids. That raises the interesting little thing called Vincent, _the voice seemed to enjoy taunting him. Telling him of his problems in it's nasty little sarcastic way._

"Go away you annoying little fuck," Cid hissed.

What? And not enjoy making your life a misery? No bloody chance! _the voice laughed right in his face, enjoying the current misery it was putting the blonde through._

"Are you alright captain?" Vincent's soft voice cut through the annoying voice.

"hmm," Cid offered, "I'm okay."

Vincent made his way almost silently to him, the only noise was the rustle of his clothing as he knelt down beside the blonde. He placed a hand on Cid's shoulder, gently squeezing it.

"You're lying," Vincent replied, "What's on your mind?"

"How far down it is to the bottom?" the pilot nodded down to the severe drop from the lift stop to the bottom of the cliff.

"Killing yourself isn't the answer," Vincent pulled Cid to him, a little startled when the blonde pushed him back.

"So it's okay for you do the whole angst shit? Okay for Barret to shove me as leader?" Cid stood up, "Okay for the planet to dump this shit on me?"

"You know what?" Cid pointed at Vincent, an insane look in the blonde's eyes, "Might as well jump and be damned."

Vincent barely had time to react as the blonde turned to get a run up. He simply watched as the blonde took a few large steps back. Was he really thinking about this?

Grudgingly, he hated himself for thanking Hojo for his improved reaction time. 

Both his hands shot out as the blonde leapt into the air, grasping onto thin air……

**************

Don't hit me.


	9. ninefanfiction can't stop me!

Lora Helen…you want me to hold him down for u? lol

******************

Cloud looked at Barret like a child, his eyes wide, "Then what happened? You can't leave it like that!"

Tifa smiled in spite of herself. No matter how old or what happened to Cloud, he would always be a little slow at things. Acting like a child when at the Gold Saucer or how he went totally hyper when he laid eyes on the rocket for the first time. It was part of his charm though. Hojo could never make something like that.

"What do you think?! Course the damn Turk saved him!" Barret shook his head, "Ya don't think that he would let him fall to his bloody death do ya?"

Cloud shrugged, a playful yet cocky smile on his angular features, "I wasn't there. I don't know. Reality wasn't and still isn't playing with a full deck of cards."

Barret shot the blonde a confused look, "Anyhow, as I was saying…"

This time, instead of being interrupted by Cloud, he was stopped by Tifa. The brunette sat beside Cloud on the rock, a look of slight concentration on her face.

"How do you know this?" she crossed her arms, a mischievous smile playing on her lips.

Barret darkened, "None o' dat matters!"

He glared at both of them, he softened as Tifa looked startled at the sudden outburst.

"Well…I was kinda curious as to what they two talked 'bout. Sides, I was nearby when I heard Cid scream bloody murder at the Turk," a slow blush creeping up on from behind his neck.

Cloud's laugh echoed in the cavern, "You eavesdropped! Aww man!"

Barret rubbed his face with his good hand, feeling the grit and dirt on his face. Feeling his face burn with embarrassment. 

His mind went to Marlene when he saw Cloud laughing like a child, was she safe? Of course she was, last night Cid had dropped him off at Kalm to see her. He had never been so happy to see her or the chance to forget about the world for just a night.

Thanks to Aeris, Marlene and Elmyra had fled the sector five slums and had headed to Kalm. For that, he would be forever grateful but because of the mysterious young woman, Marlene might not have a father by the end of the night.

Come sunrise, the group might never see loved ones again. It made the task even harder to achieve, knowing the cost if they failed was great.

"Yo, Spike," Barret smiled when an annoyed look flashed across the blonde's face, "You think we can do this? Save the planet from that loon?"

Cloud turned serious, his blue Mako eyes hardening in the darkness. He gripped his weapon tighter, his knuckles threatened to crack under the pressure. Losing the child like innocence he had laughing.

"We have to. For Marlene's sake. For Tifa's sake…for everyone that we're fighting for," Cloud smiled, "If not…well, no one can blame us for trying."

"Don't answer my question," Barret sat on the cold ground, "Well?"

"If I knew the future, I'd be called Cait Sith," Cloud stated, knowing full well that he could and would never be able to answer with the right answer.

How could he give him a resounding yes when he really didn't know? The best he could offer was a "Yeah…yeah I think so…". 

Not the words of a confident leader, not the words of a leader full stop. He'd been relying on the others to agree with him or come up with better plans. He had freaked out and had left the others to take care of things in his absence.

He would never have the strength of Vincent or the pure arrogance of Cid. Never have the optimism of Tifa or the devotion Barret had. Wisdom of Nanaki or Red XIII would elude him. The knowledge of Cait Sith or Reeve. He'd never have Yuffie's…enthusiasm.

Tifa nudged him gently, "You okay?"

"Yeah…just thinking. Think she knew this would happen? Think that's why she wanted us being friends and not just allies?" Cloud whispered, he searched his friend's face looking for the answer.

"We're all in this together…," she offered slowly, "Not one of us could of got here without the others."

Cloud took a deep breath, "When I signed up with you guys, I didn't think that I'd be literally saving the planet. I just thought it would be a case of dropping some leaflets and stuff. Rallies and protests, not bombs."

Barret's shoulder's sagged, it wasn't his plan either but things had started going wrong from the start. Biggs had suggested the bombs, saying that it would be the only way to get people to actually notice the small rebel group and pay attention to them.

Wedge had just wanted to be seen as a hero in other people's eyes and not just some flunkie. Jessie…she had been in it for the technical side. She had been a whiz with machines and computers.

All three had fallen, dying to save their homes from the Shin-Ra. They had died and now, if Barret didn't stop Sephiroth from joining with the planet. They'd be joining and helping the half breed alien in his plan.

"Barret?" Cloud asked.

"What?"

"Then what happened?"

"Huh? Then what happened to what?"

"Cid and Vincent?"

The large rebel looked blank for a moment before realising that he had left the two with a cliff hanger. He shifted his weight, making himself a bit more comfy before continuing.

"He saved him, just when the blonde was about to go over, he shot his hands out and hauled him in."

"That it?" Cloud frowned, unable to believe that that was the end of the story.

How could it be? One of the most stable in the group had threatened to leap of a cliff. So, what happened?

"You're saying that Cid and Vincent just acted like nothing happened and returned back to the party?"

"Yep," Barret agreed, he know full well the story but Vincent had requested him not to speak of it ever.

"You're not gonna tell are you?" Cloud pouted like a child when the parent refused to get to the gory part of an enthralling tale.

"Yep, not gonna," Barret crossed his arms and gave him a smug smile.

He shivered as he recalled the 'conversation' he had with the former Turk the night after the party.

__

"Barret, a word," Vincent had called after him after the Highwind had landed at the sleepy forest village.

The large resistance leader turned round, a little surprised to hear his name being uttered by Vincent. When did the holier-than-thou man decide that talking to him was no longer beneath him?

"What?"

Vincent waited until he was near him before speaking, "Barret, I know you were watching Cid and I back in Corel."

Barret opened his mouth to protest but something told him that Vincent had little time for liars and eavesdroppers.

"Good, at least you know what I am talking about. It goes no further than the three of us. Cloud will not need this resting on his shoulders, it doesn't even concern him," Vincent whispered, not wanting any of the hired help of the Highwind to hear this subject.

Barret nodded, "Goes no further man, swear on my life."

Vincent raised an eyebrow, "Barret, I have little trust for men who swear on their own lives. Sides, the way things are going, it will be a short life."

The one armed man sighed, "It looked serious man. How is he anyhow?"

"……He'll be fine. He just had to much to drink," Vincent stated in the same whisper.

"Good…he's one hell of a guy," Barret stated, "Hate to see him go the same way as Spike…"

Vincent merely nodded. He looked briefly into Barret's dark eyes, catching sight of some form of respect and fear in the dark orbs.

"Breath a word to anyone of this and I swear, Meteor will look like a pebble painted red compared to me," Vincent stated in a calm, conversational tone of voice.

The tone of voice still chilled him to this day, the whole I'll-kill-you-if-you-tell-but-I'll-do-it-in-the-most-coolest-and-sickest-ways and the fact that it was said in the nicest possible ways. The kind you use when asking after one's wife or partner.

"Sworn to secrecy?" Tifa smiled, "Barret, you've never been able to keep a secret."

"Trust me, this one I will keep," he countered.

*******************

I know….I've bumped a big part but…even I was a bit tired of the cid/vin thing. I actually wanted to do a couple of chaps on the other guys. If u really all want the missing part, I suppose I could post it in the next chappie.

Oh yeah…if anyone has played ffx, could you tell me the name of the guy who plays auron? I love his voice…*-* 


	10. sorry, so sorry for the waitchapter 10

Hey, thanks for sticking with me. I love ya all.

DigitalJessie, welcome back!

Lora Helen…threaten cloud all ya want! I never ever liked him…though he was kick ass in Kingdom Hearts.

Lunachan579: I'm sure Lora Helen would allow you to borrow some of her baked beans to eat me with, I'll bring the toast…mmmm, beans and toast…

Ku1, I know, I got writers block and I got plot bunnies nibbling on toes!

Well, to all, I hope this is okay…

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

He could hear voices, the weight of his sins being lifted from his tired and battered body. If he could have, he would have shook his head, thinking it was just his imagination.

His sins couldn't be lifted, they were far to heavy and numerous. He had made another sin by thinking that he could love another. Thinking he could be loved.

No matter how hard Chaos would try to convince him, Cid did not love him. It didn't matter how many times Chaos pulled the scene on the Highwind back to his memory. If he had, he would never have stayed on the surface, he would fought his way down here. So much for the statement, "I'll never leave you."

One of the voices were filled with sorrow, regret, pain and anger. Who were the simple yet powerful emotions aimed at?

"…not le…n…way in the…" the voice kept jumping from clarity to silence.

He wanted to run to the voice, a part of him really did but the cynical and bitter half of him wanted nothing of it. Wanted to keep him buried in the sins and pain.

Again, he closed his mind off. Shutting away the pain and tears he could feel building in his frame and red eyes. The cynical part of him was winning and slowly he could feel his fight for his life lessen.

__

Never give up Vincent. Don't ever give up, a female voice cried out from the darkness.

__

Never give up? Hah…that's funny, the cynical Vincent laughed sourly, _you know, I don't think I've heard anything so funny in my life. No…wait. Yeah I have, Cid saying he loves ya and would never leave you._

Please…stop. Let me die in peace, Vincent begged, _Let me have the peace I rightfully deserve._

"Don'…up. Don't even think…" the voice sounded louder, more urgent than what it had a few minutes ago.

A painful cough was caught in his throat, he was to tired to try moving anything. When he had done it the last time, all he was granted with was failure.

He allowed his mind to drift off, allowing it to take him to a place of darkness and warmth. Perhaps he might even meet his parents? Was his mind allowing him to go?

After a few minutes he opened his eyes. Surprised to find that he wasn't buried under a pile of rocks but instead he was standing in a grassy field. He could still feel the heavy weight of the rocks on his chest but that was fading fast. The musty and dank smell of the cave replaced with the fresh air. The sun beat down, bird song filled the air.

"This is a nice place," Aeris stepped into view, "I'm a little surprised that it came from your mind. I always thought that all you had bumpin around in there was bats and dark and dingy places."

Vincent said nothing, it hadn't came from his mind. It came from the memories of his friend. The blonde captain who had shared his childhood memories. Cid had told him about this, how his childhood had been a rather happy little affair. Long warm summer days, grassy fields and playing two man hunt with his friends until the farmers chased them out of the field.

"Vincent?" Aeris sat down in the warm grass, "You're giving up, aren't you?"

"I'm tired," was all he whispered, "and I hurt…"

Aeris tugged on a stray lock of her auburn hair, her green eyes closing to block out the sun. She looked peaceful and serene, like she had when she fell at the hands of Sephiroth.

"Just let me go," Vincent sat wearily beside her, his eyes lowered and focused on a single blade of grass.

"It's not that I don't want to," Aeris raised her eyes to a distant hill, a sad smile on her face, "but we both know that there is a small part of you that wants to live. A small part of you who knows that Cid and the others are waiting for you."

"Cid doesn't love me," Vincent cried out, "If he did, he would of commanded the second team. He would of joined the team for our final mission."

Aeris took his face in her soft hands, her eyes softening. She knew how much he was hurting but the old saying sprang to mind.

You gotta be cruel to be kind.

She took one hand off his face and pointed to a spot a few hundred feet away. The young flower girl looked deep into his eyes and made them follow hers until they reached the same spot.

The scene shifted for him, making him feel dizzy and disorientated. He closed his eyes, wishing for this surreal nightmare was over. Wishing for his promised land.

"Open your eyes," Aeris whispered.

"I'm afraid to…" he offered in the same timid whisper.

He was greeted with the energetic and happy atmosphere of Corel. The night of the party, the night Cid had threatened to end his life.

He didn't know why he said what he did, perhaps it was because he was hurt?

"I should have let him jump," Vincent breathed, "Saved myself the hassle."

The young flower girl from the slums stood up and headed down towards the party. Her pink dress fluttering slightly in the wind. She turned round, a smile gracing her face.

"Ya coming or what?" she called back.

Vincent raised an eyebrow, he remained seated. Why should he even bother? He knew what was going to happen, knew that Cid had screamed at him. The situation hadn't been resolved, merely brushed under the table and never straying to far from the surface of the relationship.

"I wasn't asking Vincent. I was politely telling you," Aeris placed her hands on her hips.

Vincent slowly get to his feet and moved towards her, " You're the ghost of Christmas past huh?"

"Good to see you've discovered a sense of humour," Aeris countered, "Come on, let's go eavesdropping."

The pair made their way down to the party, Vincent was about to open his mouth when a vision of the past walked through him. As cold shiver ran through him.

__

This is my life now…I am a ghost, watching people…Vincent hid the sad smile that threatened to emerge.

Aeris quickened her pace, her movements full of purpose and elegant. This girl, Vincent surmised, had a mission of some sorts.

He caught sight of himself with Yuffie, the younger teen's face the interesting shade of green. That had been a few moments before he had found Cid.

He never did determine what exactly had happened to her after that, he vaguely recalled a young woman aiding the ninja to a quiet spot somewhere. 

"Almost there," Aeris tugged on his flesh hand, "Come on."

The former Turk allowed Aeris to lead him to the small tram lift. Not once did the smile on her face falter.

He was amazed, this young woman had faced her death without whining. She had actually went to her death alone, not afraid of the consequences or of Sephiroth and here he was, wanting to give up.

He bumped into her as she stopped, getting a mouthful of her hair. Again he could see himself grabbing Cid with both his arms. Seeing how easily he pulled him back to the ledge and stumble back. The words that had been said…

__

"Are you totally insane?!" Vincent hissed as he pulled Cid towards himself tightly.

The blonde struggled against him, "Let me go!"

"No!"

Cid pushed Vincent off him, a mixture of pain and hurt evident. The blonde rubbed his face tiredly, his blue eyes glazed over.

"Why not?" Cid replied in a scarily childlike voice, "I screw up, I screw everything up."

"Jumping off this cliff is not the way to go," Vincent quickly glanced at the ledge, could he catch the blonde again if he dove off?

"Why the hell not?! Like I said before, how come ya'll can act like three year olds? Ya know? Storm off or sulk when the feeling takes ya but not okay for me?" Cid exploded, "You don't know who the hell I am!"

"Like you know who I am?" Vincent shot back.

Vincent closed his eyes, he had acted like a two year old with the captain. Throwing whatever emotion the blonde was having right back at him. He said nothing as he watched Cid throw a punch…

__

Vincent easily dodged the blow and pinned the blonde to the ground, "If you want to die that badly Highwind, I can do it right here."

Cid said nothing as Vincent pulled out his weapon, his blue eyes wide with fear.

"It's what you want, isn't it?" Vincent whispered, fighting back the urge to cry.

The former Turk held his breath, waiting for an answer. He glanced quickly up and caught Barret staring slack jawed and wide eyed. Vincent did nothing but returned his attention to the blonde currently pinned against the dusty ground.

"Isn't it?!" Vincent pushed.

"…no…" Cid whispered, "No it's not."

Vincent slowly got off his lover, slowly re-holstering his weapon. He turned away, trying to compose himself before talking to the Shin-Ra captain.

Cid slowly sat up, shame emanating from him. It took him a few attempts to even look at Vincent's back without looking away.

"I'm…I…" he sighed tiredly.

Faithfully, Vincent sat down beside Cid and put an arm around him. He pulled the blonde closer and sniffed back tears.

"Life is incredibly unfair," Vincent said softly, "When you think you have a grip on things, something changes it."

Gently, Cid rested his head on Vincent's chest. He could hear Vincent's heartbeat race. He ignored the music going on from behind them and just focused on the silence between them.

"What do we do now?" Cid broke the silence, he closed his eyes when Vincent tenderly kissed the top of his head.

"…In my experience," Vincent paused, looking for the right words, "I think we should…I think we should just muddle on by and pray for the best."

Pray for the best? Vincent looked at the image, _the situation right now is dire._

Aeris crossed her arms, "We should just pray for the best huh?"

Vincent closed his eyes, "What do you suggest we do then?"

"Let me do the praying," Aeris stated.

Vincent opened one eye and peered at her through his dark fringe. A look of scepticism on his face.

"What should we do?" he asked.

Aeris gave him a large grin, "Live, love. Do everything that Hojo took from you. Do you really want the things you love to die?"

"Are you or are you not the same Vincent Valentine who swore that you would live forever? Swore that you would see all the stars burn out long before the reaper comes a knockin on your door?" Aeris changed the scene to the night he had made that vow. The stars shining brightly.

"…he died that night," Vincent gazed at the sky.

"No," Aeris shook her head, "He hasn't. He's taking the easy way out, he doesn't want to get hurt."

The former Turk shook his head, "No…not true."

"Let me show you something," Aeris once again changed the settings, the stars joining together and forming white clouds. The buildings of Nibelhiem morphed into the small cottages of Rocket Town.

"Let me tell you the tale of Cid Highwind or rather, let me introduce you to Megan," Aeris made a elegant sweeping motion with her arm and the entire area became full of the towns people.

***********


	11. 11

Chapter 11 at long last. Man…I just dunno what the heck is up with me. Inspiration for this chapter goes to Queen, Meatloaf and Bon Jovi. Trust me, a whole day of listening to them finally made me write this chapter.

This is a rather weird chappie for me…it's…it's the 1st time that I've actually thought about the character as something other than annoying.

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Cid's fingers were numb and raw from his scratching and clawing at the rocks in front of him. Determination etched even more lines into the normally tanned features. His heart had sank when Cait had told him that they had heard a faint rumble above them and then the rocks fell.

He knew that he had been the cause of the rock fall, he knew he shouldn't of threw the stick of dynamite but he didn't even think he had been that close to the second group.

A sharp intake of breath surprised him as he nearly ripped off a dirty finger nail, two battles were being fought inside him. The warrior and pilot half of him told him to take his loses and move ahead, fight for the greater good but the man, the half that made him who he was, refused to move an inch.

Cait Sith looked at the pilot in front of him, his mechanical heart going out to him. However, Cid couldn't sit around and wallow in self pity. Not this time, this was the fight for the planet and as sad as it was, sacrifices needed to be made.

"Cid, he wouldn't want you to give up. He'd want you to keep fighting," Cait pulled lightly on Cid's combats.

"He wouldn't want his death to be in vain. If he knew that he was the reason the planet died, I don't think he could forgive himself ," the grey and white cat tugged harder.

The last member to join AVALANCHE ran both his hands across his grim covered face and through his hair, hoping that the answer he wanted so badly would smack him in the face. It was like he was with Megan all over again.

He'd just managed to get over her, after four long years of taking it out on Shera and everyone he really cared about. Blaming the failed rocket launch, his friends…however, it was Shera who had bore the brunt of the anger.

She had been the only woman who had even went near the blonde after Megan and had offered herself willingly to him only to have it spat back in her face whenever Cid had had to much to drink. It still amazed him to this day that the mousy woman had stayed for as long as she did.

"I told him that I wouldn't leave him, would never treat him like Lucrecia did," he muttered softly, "and what the hell did I go and do?"

"You weren't responsible for her," Cait shook his head, "Vincent didn't compare you to her so why are you comparing him to Megan? He wasn't going to…"

"You don't know that," the pilot sighed as he took in the sight of the rocks that had crushed his lover, "Hell…I was to busy wallowing in my own self pity that I didn't even think to ask him how he felt. I used him. Sides, everyone who cares for me usually ends up dead."

While Reeve had never met Vincent as a young man, he had a feeling that the dark haired former Turk wouldn't allow anyone to use him if he didn't want them to. If he didn't have some form of a healthy tolerance for the rest of AVALANCHE, he wouldn't of spoken to them, wouldn't of joined with them in this insane race to save the planet.

"Not everyone," Cait suddenly felt inadequate, wishing that he was his human operator, wishing he was Reeve so he could show Cid some real emotion instead of just a compassionate voice.

"There's Shera, um…the guys in AVALANCHE, the folk in Rocket Town," Cait Sith placed both paws on Cid's lower calf, "we all care bout you and we aint dead yet."

"We can twist that round," Cid wiped away a drop of sweat from his forehead, "Aeris, Vincent, Megan, the guys of AVALANCHE in a few hours, the people of Rocket Town and Shera."

Reeve wanted to tear his hair out right then, here he was, talking to a man who had obviously decided that he was doomed to be alone and not bother to even try to be happy.

"You scared the living daylights out of him when you got the stupid idea of flying without the Highwind back in Corel," Cait confessed, "He didn't get a wink of sleep that night, kept whispering to you that everything was going to be okay and that you haven't screwed anything up!"

Two huge blue eyes stared at him in a mixture of shock and horror. How did…how did he know that? Vincent had told him that no one had seen them and that it would go no further than the two of them. Their little dangerous secret.

The mechanical cat allowed the words to sink in before divulging where he got that information. Vincent would probably…would have either ripped out his mechanical circuits or go straight to the source and choke the life out of the human operator if he'd known that he knew.

"This is what I saw…" the cat took a deep simulated breath, steadying nerves that didn't really need to be steadied.

Corel Party….

He watched in curiosity as two of his team mates walked slowly to the large airship, he'd been aware that Vincent had came over to him earlier this evening. He had even heard the comment about him not being bothered by the party.

He would of joined in more but Reeve had been pulled into a sudden meeting with the president and the rest of the goons that made up the board. So, Reeve had one ear listening to the meeting and the other to the Corel party.

The small grey and white cat knew how much Reeve had wanted to get away and disguise himself as a local but, the president had all important staff locked in the Shin-ra building, concocting ever more evil and useless plans on how to defeat the oncoming threat of Meteor.

The current one of choice was the rocket back in Rocket Town. The plan was to launch the rocket and use it as a missile after they had loaded it with Huge Materia at the fiery ball called Meteor.

Reeve was doubtful that that would actually succeed but did the dutiful nod and 'that's-a-great-idea' spiel. In his eyes, if the people wanted to look for hope, then it was with AVALANCHE that they should be turning their attention to. Terrorists to the Shin-Ra but freedom fighters for the planet.

It wasn't in technology that the planet was going to find salvation, it had been placed into the hands of humans…well, almost. It had been placed on the shoulders of eight individuals who had been thrown together

He retuned his divided attention back to the two figures heading to the airship, wondering why Cid was leaving the party so early. The man loved partying…well, enjoyed a really good drink so, why was he heading back to the Highwind?

Not bothering to summon his mog into action, he elegantly leapt off and began to follow them. He stalked through the grass, not wanting to alert Vincent. Cait Sith was convinced that the man who said nothing had the most sensitive hearing on the planet.

He was convinced that Cid had that expert hearing as well as he seemed to be the only one who would smile if Vincent muttered something that the rest of the group couldn't hear.

A smile curled his lips as Vincent snaked an arm around Cid's waist. The action it seemed to the untrained eye was to steady a drunk pilot as the blonde leaned slightly on Vincent but Cait had watched Cid walk perfectly straight when leaving the town.

Part of him was curious as to how far exactly the pair were in the relationship, he had his suspicions but he could hardly wander up to them and ask, 'Hey, are you two screwing each other yet?'. he might as well throw himself of the Highwind.

His ears perked up as he strained to listen if they were talking, not that he would really eavesdrop but Barret was right. What did the pair talk about when they were left lone in their rooms?

They had shared a room at the Gold Saucer and Cid had refused to spill the beans about his room mate. The blonde claimed ignorance, saying that he had only been with the team for a few nights so he really didn't know anything about anyone.

Vincent, however, had been that little bit more sneaky than his lover. He had wanted to know more about Cid before he even approached the man. That was the first time that Reeve had even had a clue that Vincent might actually be interested in Cid, however, if he actually thought about it, there had been clues long before.

He looked up to find that the two men had disappeared from his sight but he averted his gaze to the Highwind. They were boarding her, how could he of let his super senses down like that? Some spy he was turning out to be!

Maybe that's a good thing, _Reeve thought, _the fact that I am now one of the good guys and that I do feel bad about betraying them back then.

He jumped through the grass like he was a kitten until he got to the ladder that lead to the upper deck of the Highwind. His sensors told him that it really wasn't that high up but his eyes said other wise.

Reeve had a thing for heights, he was okay if it was Cait Sith doing all the dangerous stuff but the Head of Urban Development got nose bleeds when he travelled to the President's office on the 69th Floor of the Shin-Ra headquarters by the elevator.

The cat tried leaping for the last rung of the rope ladder but found it was a good few feet out of reach. He kept trying, just hoping that every jump was a jump nearer to it. No matter how hard he tried or how much bounce he gave, the rope would sway in the breeze and remain out of reach.

"Should of picked an animal that jumped that little bit higher," Cait Sith moaned as he went to look for another way on board.

An hour later…

Voices could be heard from the crew quarters of the Highwind of varying descriptions. Cid's usually instantly smoke hardened drawl couldn't be heard. The entire ship had a sleepy yet eerie quiet to it. His booted paws made little noise as he made his way down the corridor.

"That is such a cute looking kitty cat," a female engineer said quietly, "It's got little booties on…aww."

A male voice sounded a little confused, "Um Jessica? That's half of that really annoying fortune telling machine."

Caith Sith flattened his ears in annoyance as he heard that comment, "That's not really nice. I'm actually a real person."

"Sure…one who'd Barret would like to get his hands on," the male responded.

"Anyhow…" Cait frowned slightly, "Do you know where Cid's room is? I wanna talk to him bout something…"

The woman looked thoughtful for a few seconds, "Down the hall but, he's not feeling to great. Vincent asked if we could leave him alone for the night."

Cait nodded, "Oh…what's wrong?"

The female shrugged, "Dunno but he didn't look so hot when he came on board. Hope he's not coming down with something."

The male she was with looked at her, "Why's that?"

"Cause if anyone can stop Meteor, I'm sure he can…along with the rest of AVALANCHE," her voice sounded hopeful as she looked at the small cat in front of her.

Something about the honest and hopeful look in her eye made him look away. Was this how the entire planet felt? Did they want AVALANCHE or the Shin-Ra to defeat Sephiroth and Meteor?

"You want us to win?" Cait said the words slowly, "but the Shin-Ra has all the big guns, we're just running around with hardly anything."

The woman frowned a bit, "I really don't know…maybe it's because no matter what the Shin-ra have done to you guys, you come back looking for more and it's for the good of the planet. Lot's of reasons but…I've got a kid and she wants to grow up to be in AVALANCHE. Maybe because everyone today has been forced fed on the lies for to long and we want…it's time that we all started believing in something real and not the pack of lies that has been given. AVALANCHE has finally given us something to believe in and that's what we need."

The male who was with her looked stunned at the honest words of his friend. He had no idea that she felt like but he understood her words.

"We need heroes," the male said, "and that's what we all see AVALANCHE as."

Words seemed to of failed the usually talkative cat, all he could do was stare at the floor in wonder and actually think about those words. His own words rang in them too, words he had said to Cloud and Aeris back at the Gold Saucer.

You don't get paid or praised for what you do but you keep going anyway.

Was that how the entire planet felt? That AVALANCHE were now fighting for the good of the planet? Corel and Fort Condor certainly did, Yuffie's own father had stated that he had admired the group. Heck, even people he knew back at the office admired them.

"Th…thanks," Cait Sith stuttered, "You have no idea how much that is going to mean to the rest of the group."

"It's just how I feel about it," the woman offered sheepishly.

The two engineers looked at each other ackwardly before going about there business, leaving the tiny form of Cait Sith to slowly make his way to Cid's room. Surely this would make Cid feel better? He knew it would mean the world to Tifa, hopefully that would quell any doubts that had risen in her heart.

Cid's door was slightly ajar when he arrived, Vincent's soft voice could be heard from within, saying something to Cid.

"…be okay…" Cait picked up, "I'll…never…screw up."

As far as he was aware, Vincent had never really screwed things up for the group. Was he indicating something else?

Maybe I should get that little bit closer…_Cait thought, he tipped toed nervously closer, knowing that if he got caught, he'd be used as a bouncy ball._

"Next time when you need to talk to someone, just come to me," Vincent had lowered all his shields and Cait Sith suddenly felt really guilty at listening.

"But we're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay," Vincent continued, oblivious to the fact that he was being spied upon.

Something like a sigh emerged from the man's delicate lips, "But I will admit that you scared me like no one has before. Think you knocked a couple of years off me. Just…just don't go jumping off anything, I love you and…I just couldn't cope if I lost you too."

Cait blinked slowly a few times, love? So soon? He waited to hear the words come out from Cid's mouth but none came. That annoyed him, Vincent had laid his heart on the line and…whoa…jumping off anything?

Who had tried to jump off something and why was it a bad thing? Cait scratched his head until Reeve filled in the blanks for him.

Oh…Cid must of tried to…to do something drastic, _Reeve moved the small mechanical cat a little closer to the door, part of him wanting to offer some comforting words to Cid and Vincent. To tell them of the good news that not everyone wanted them dead._

Cait Sith peeked halfway into the room, one eye covered by the door but the other orb catching sight of Cid and Vincent on the bed. The pilot was curled up like a cat to the slender and older former Turk who had wrapped both his arms around the blonde in an extremely protective hug.

"You know," Vincent smiled slightly as he looked down at the blonde sleeping somewhat restfully in his arms, "you look kinda cute…without that damn fag in your mouth."

Guilt seemed to be the cat's new best friend that evening as he felt awful for witnessing such a sweet moment between the pair however, he was going to look for a bit longer. When else would he get the chance to see the real Vincent Valentine?

Vincent gave Cid a few butterfly kisses along his forehead, a content smile appearing on the man's pale face. The smile grew slightly when Cid stirred slightly from his slumber but the waking blonde was only up for a minute. The pilot rested his head on Vincent's shoulder and sighed deeply as he fell back to sleep.

"You haven't screwed anything up…well, nothing that time and love couldn't fix," Vincent words could barely be heard from where Cait was but Reeve was glad of that, "that's why, no matter what happens. I love you, faults an' all."

Cait Sith wiped away an imaginary small tear from it's face, You know…I think this is when I should leave them…

He took one last look at the couple, his mind going to Aeris and what she said way back when Cid had entered the group to Cloud. She had wanted to see the end result of the pair, she knew that deep down, that they were going to get it together.

Present

Cait Sith had covered his eyes, afraid that Cid was going to do something mean and horrible to him if he looked him dead in the eyes after telling him that. Slowly, after a few minutes had gone past, he ventured open an eye.

Cid was fighting back tears and was winning that battle, something in his blue eyes had changed. he sighed slightly as he looked at the rocks.

"He…he said that?" he rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of how to take the news.

"Yup," Cait took a few large steps back away from Cid, "I just felt like I had to tell you. Make you feel a little better about moving on."

"I'm not leaving him," Cid shook his head, his hand tugging on something, something red underneath the rock.

"Cait stood slack jawed, "Uh…w…why?"

"I've found him…"


End file.
